Laughing on the Journey to Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

"As man sows, so shall he reap. In works of fiction, such men are sometimes converted. More often, in real life, they do not change their natures until they are converted into dust."

Charles W. Chesnutt

---

In a city that may or may not have been saved from destruction by three children, a boy between the ages of fourteen and seventeen was currently being an injustice to the name of man. Or, he was being ordered around by two women.

“Idiot, get me a juice box.”

“Yes, Asuka.”

“Shin-chan! You did the laundry today, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Misato.”

“Idiot! You still haven’t gotten me that juice box!”

“I’m sorry, Asuka.”

“Stop apologizing! That won’t get me my juice any faster! Mein Gott, you can be so stupid, sometimes...all the time!”

“Sorry.”

“Just go!”

The young lad jumped, and hurried to the refrigerator to retrieve her demands.

“Here you go, Asuka.”

“Idiot! What the hell?! This is apple juice! I wanted orange juice!”

“Sorry...” apologized Shinji, once more. Wait, he thought, how is this my fault? She never said what kind she wanted! I should...I should stand up to her in this situation! The boy gulped in preparation, and dared to defy the German Redheaded Devil. “...But, how was I supposed to know what kind to get? You never said that, As-”

A juice box flying into his temple interrupted him.

“Dummkopf! I did say I wanted orange juice! You just weren’t listening! Now, hurry up and go get it!”

Shinji clenched and unclenched his fist in frustration as apple juice stained its way down his regular, button-up white shirt. He knew he shouldn’t take this kind of abuse and that his friends would mock him if they heard of this, but...I’m so pathetic, Shinji concluded

“Yes, I’ll get it for you...Asuka...” he let himself be trampled on.

...Pathetic.

“Schnell!” barked the young lady.

While Shinji rummaged through Misato’s beer fridge for orange juice, an epiphany hit him.

I just need a spine!

It was so simple, how could he not have thought of this sooner. Plus, they were so easy to get these days! Having one would solve all his troubles!

Shinji returned to the table and handed Asuka her goddamn orange juice, and suffered through the both ladies’ needs the rest of the night without complaint...which was no different from how he always suffered through the evening. Anyways, just thinking about that spinal chord he’d be getting was enough to keep him at ease.

Soon...

Soon, Shinji would solidify his vertebrae and have his day. Yes, soon they would be the ones forced to fetch and perform other menial tasks.

...Soon...

That night, Shinji Ikari slept peacefully in dreams where he became the alpha male, the man people respected, the guy who got the ladies, the kind of person he had always wanted to be but never had been...a beast...

---

“...Shinji...” whined Asuka, obviously not a morning person, “is breakfast ready yet...?”

“Yes, Asuka,” dully responded Shinji as he always did before school, “it’s been ready for over half an hour. Sorry, but it might be a little cold now.”

“...I don’t care, just heat it up,” yawned Asuka haughtily.

Shinji complied without a word, like he’d been these past two weeks since his great epiphany. Truly, it was easy to pretend to be “meek” when he knew that he’d be getting just what the doctor ordered any day now. Of course, neither Asuka nor Misato noticed a change in him yet, but they would!

...Oh, yes, they will. Not long now... he reflected as Asuka’s breakfast warmed up in the microwave.

“Ahhhhhh! That hit the spot!” an obnoxious sigh of relief that could only be Misato after downing a Yebisu came from direction of the table. How great it will be when Shinji no longer has to deal with that horrendous beer breath or that awful puke on the couch!

Then, whilst Misato unleashed a mighty belch and Asuka glared at Shinji for not being able to turn back time and make her food fresher, it happened.

A nasally buzzing sound that had to be their shoddy doorbell screeched noisily, though it sounded like a chime from Heaven’s Bells to Shinji’s ears.

“Ach!” cursed Asuka, who couldn’t stand loud sounds in the morning, “Shinji, what the hell...”

Her angry question directed towards her favorite target to direct angry questions trailed off once she noticed its intended recipient had vanished. You see, Shinji had darted towards the entranceway immediately after hearing the doorbell’s peal he had waited so painfully for, and was now dealing with a grumpy mailman.

“You Shiniji Ikari?” grumbled the grumpy mailman.

“Actually, my name is...” began Shinji before remembering he had misspelled his name when he ordered this item. He had just been that excited. “Ah, yes, I am Shinji-, ah, Shiniji Ikari.”

“Whatever, kid, just sign here so I can get the hell outta here,” grouched the unhappy man, holding out a pen and a receipt for the skinny teen.

Really, this mailman could care less about who he gave packages to or what he delivered to people. He wouldn’t give a damn if he sent someone a bomb, if he wasn’t worried about his boss figuring out he did it and firing him if he ever did. That mailman had always wanted to be a milkman and was eternally upset he never landed his dream job.

In trepidation, Shinji fumbled for the pen and promptly dropped it. Embarrassed, he picked it up, the grumpy mailman frowning at him the whole time, and proceeded to scrawl his name on the dotted line. Secretly, Shinji was proud that his signature was legible despite his hand shaking so much as he scribbled it.

“’Bout time,” snarled the mailman maliciously. He couldn’t help himself. It just wasn’t his day; he woke up to discover his girlfriend gone and a note saying she never wanted to see him again because he was constantly grumpy. “Enjoy your package, thank you for using Can Japan Air Delivery Service, have a nice day, see you in hell. Later.”

And the disgruntled mail carrier slammed the door in Shinji’s face.

Normally, the angsty adolescent would have been seriously troubled by the rude display and mulled over it for about a week, but he was distracted at the moment by something far more important.

He had it in his hands.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. His thoughts were surprisingly simple as he dashed into his room and carefully shut the door, while his heartbeat became erratic and his breathing resembled someone having a seizure. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Shinji’s hands twitched furiously in anticipation, but that didn’t slow down him ripping the brown wrapping off the package in the slightest. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. There. It really was what he thought it was. Yes. Yes. Yes! Saliva slipped out the side of Shinji's mouth.

The Takeda Pharmaceutical Corporation’s “Orthopedic Spinal Adjustment Brace.”

Just seeing those words on the box nearly caused a drooling Shinji to hyperventilate. With it so close in his reach, the wait was now excruciating and Shinji tore the box open and pulled out the prize he desired so much. In spite of his excitement, though, he froze when his eyes first gazed upon it.

It was beautiful.

The brace was a long, black, solid (yet, flexible) chord with small pieces of shining steel protruding on either at fixed intervals to match where his vertebrae would be. Thin, pointed needles poked out of the little steel squares that were supposed to attach the brace to his backbone. Fortunately, the Takeda Pharmaceutical Corporation supplied a complimentary Tylenol for the “slight” ache the needles would cause when they dug their way into the skin around his spinal column, so Shinji wouldn’t have to worry about that.

It had been exceedingly difficult measuring the distance between each bone on his back for this special, custom order, but Shinji assumed it would be well worth the effort.

Distantly, Shinji took his eyes off the relic which would change his life and flipped through the instruction book to learn how the hell he was supposed to graft this thing on to his back.

“...The Takeda Pharmaceutical Co. is pleased you have chosen us to fix your back-related problems. On a precautionary note, we would like to stress how this is strictly for the elderly or those who have serious spinal column problems and will not...Boring, boring, where’s the part I need?” Shinji read the manual aloud absentmindedly. “Ah, here we go...To apply the Takeda Pharmaceutical Co.‘Orthopedic Spinal Adjustment Brace’ simply hold the top end of the Spinal Adjustment Brace (or have someone do it for you, in case you are paralyzed) beneath your neck, needle-side facing away from you, and the Brace will do the rest for you automatically! You will feel a slight tingle as the needles...”

All right. Shinji knew what he had to do. Quickly, he threw off his shirt and got ready to become a new man. Muscles indicative of a life of little to no exercise were revealed with his torso open to the air, as well as bones that actually did appear frail.

I will never have to run away again...but, in case I do, this new back will make it that much easier for me.

Contrast to his earlier shakiness, his hands were completely still when he picked up the brace and placed it in the instructed area, needle-side up.

Then, he just had to wait...and wait some more. How long was this supposed to take again?

Just when Shinji was about to take another gander at the instruction booklet, the spikes for his top vertebrae went through the steel boxes of the brace and split open his back. Agonizing pain jolted from where they broke open his skin and, before Shinji could scream, the needles for his next-lower vertebrae descended into his flesh. Thereafter, Shinji became winded and his mouth shrieked soundlessly as each part of his spine was subjected to sharp objects in subsequently more painful order. Blood that Shinji could not see spilled down his back while he curled up on the floor in stinging agony, knocking over boxes and all sorts of things in his room and twitching whenever new needles were introduced to his body.

But, it was soon over, though Shinji’s sobs after his breath came back remained. The pain eventually subsided and he swallowed the free pill, courtesy of Takeda Pharmaceutical Co. Hey, it really did make Shinji feel better as advertised.

Much better. In fact, he felt great now! Shinji wiped the tears from his face, got his shirt back on, and stood up straight.

Straighter than he’d ever stood before in his life.

---

Outside of Shin-chan’s Luxurious Suite, two ladies watched the door suspiciously, whispering to each other.

“What do you think he’s doing?” gossiped Misato.

“Probably jerking off, thinking of Wondergirl! That pervert,” hissed Asuka.

“Oh, jealous?” teased Misato with a smirk.

“W-what? No!” denied Asuka vehemently, perhaps too much so. “Why would I want him to love me?!”

“Who said anything about him loving you?” Misato delivered a crushing blow. At this point, the volume of their voices was a bit too loud to be deemed whispering.

To summarize how the lovely madams got here:

After eating their breakfast, both Asuka and Misato realized Shinji was no longer around when nobody put their plates away. Astounded and not certain of what they should do with their cutlery, they hunted down the only Y-chromosome in the house (excluding Pen Pen) and found a door mysteriously closed. For the past few minutes, they had been listening to strange noises and debating whether or not this boy needed therapy.

Which brings us back to the present conversation:

“Shut up!” shot back Asuka. She was huffing and puffing, and still clearly tired because what she was going to say next would have spelled certain doom to her. “Listen, there’s no way I-”

The door flew open unexpectedly, ending Asuka and Misato’s discussion in addition to startling them, and through that doorway stepped the new-and-vastly-improved Shinji Ikari.

Both Asuka and Misato scrambled to think of a reason for eavesdropping on him.

“Ah, hey, Shinji,” Asuka was quicker, “we were just wondering where you left the laundry. I need my...my, uh, school uniform!”

“It’s in the laundry basket, where it always is,” replied Shinji, not making eye contact with Asuka and not seeming to notice her, or Misato’s, existence. Furthermore, he had an odd grin on his face the whole time.

“Right,” Asuka obviously knew that since she was wearing her school uniform. Whatever, her lie worked. “Oh, could you hurry up and make our bentos?”

That silly grin on Shinji’s mug widened considerably and he uttered a single, lonesome syllable.

“No.”

Just one word, but Asuka went silent. She couldn’t believe it.

Meanwhile, Misato noticed an odd dripping sound and her eyeballs tried to jump out of their sockets when they saw what it was and the source.

“It’s late so I’m off to school now,” Shinji informed the ladies, “bye.”

A stunned Asuka and Misato watched Shinji turn his back to them and head out the door. A room that had never been more quiet was left behind in his wake, as Asuka and Misato’s minds worked out what they just witnessed. Pen Pen walked by to no applause.

“Did you see just see that?!” Asuka cut through the silence first.

“Yeah, and it was unbelievable!” Misato piped in.

Asuka balled her fists in fury. “Still, I can’t believe he really was wanking it to that...that doll!”

“Yeah!” agreed Misato, “it was-wait, what did you just say?!”

“Verdammt! I’m so pissed off at that pervert!” seethed the German, “I never thought that’s what he really was like, but that dumb smile on his face completely gave him away!”

“What?” Misato was confused, “Didn’t you see all that blood running down his back!? Aren’t you anxious about that?!”

“Oh, there will be blood by the time I’m done with him,” fiercely declared a red-in-face-and-hair Asuka. Reason or logic was now beyond her. “Mark my words.”

“Look at that trail of blood!” yelled Misato, pointing at the path of crimson ruining their carpet, “I know you like him, so aren’t you a teensy bit worried?! I am! I think he tried to kill himself, and that he’ll try again soon!”

“Heh, he’ll wish he killed himself after I’m finished with that idiot,” Asuka ignored everything Misato just said while slipping her shoes on.

Sniffing the air like a fox, Asuka opened the front door with a hunter’s grace and set upon her mission as a panther.

“Wait, Asuka, he needs help!” desperately tried and cried Misato, but she was not in time.

With a look that could and probably would kill, Asuka Langley Soryu had already left.

---

Meanwhile, Shinji was still elated from his victory over Asuka and the world.

He walked through Tokyo-3 with a sense of purpose in each step and replayed the scene when he denied Asuka's quest for a bento in his mind endlessly. That's right, Asuka, I'm never going to make your lunch ever again! The very pleasing notion made him laugh out loud. Of course, it meant he had to do without one for himself, but who cared about that? Not manly-back man Shinji, that's for sure. Besides, the cafeteria food couldn't be that bad if Touji had it every day.

Concerning Shinji's newly aligned spinal structure, it had never been better. At first, the thin spikes of metal in his skin felt uncomfortable, but they had settled in quite nicely. His posture had never been better and the teen couldn't wait to find out how many sit-ups he could crunch out now; for certain, his old record of five was in for one nasty surprise.

Giddily, Shinji went through downtown Tokyo-3 saying hello to people for no reason. Some slowly returned the greeting while most pretended not to hear him. Others gasped in surprise when they saw red on his back. Shinji assumed they were shocked by his superior anterior.

Eventually, about halfway to his school, he came across a couple in their mid-twenties. One was a man with a five-o'clock shadow wearing a rumpled suit with a hairline just beginning to recede. From the panicked expression he wore, it seemed a lot of hair was going to fall off that scalp by the end of the day. Laying down on a bench the man stood by was a large-bellied woman whose flowing black locks typically looked less like Medusa's hair, but she couldn't have cared less about that right now.

"Oh, thank God!" the man approached Shinji and took his hand, "you've got to lend me some money!"

Beggars! Shinji figured out what these people were. In days of old a number of sticky fingers belonging to the crust of society had picked apart Shinji's wallet, but that ended today. I'm not giving up a single cent to those without jobs anymore!

"Sorry, can't do that," boasted Shinji with a pride approaching arrogance.

"What? Why not?!" moaned the poor man, "Listen, I just need a quarter for the payphone! I'll even give it back to you!"

"I said that I can't do that," repeated Shinji.

He figured this guy must have had some scam going on. First it's a quarter, then it's a dollar, and before I know it this guy will want my left kidney.

"Please, you have to give me a quarter!" begged the man, "Can't you see that my wife is in labour! Her water broke and she's having contractions right now! We need to call an ambulance...or taxi, or anything! Please!"

For added affect, the woman on the bench grunted in pain and grabbed her heavy, clearly pregnant belly. She breathed in and out laboriously all the while.

Shinji snorted. So that's how they trick people out of hard-earned cash these days. Not that Shinji had worked a minute for the money he had on him currently. I might have believed them, too, back in the ol' days but you have to work harder than that to fool Shinji now. He puffed up his chest to show off his enhanced spinal capabilities.

"Okay, your wife might be...in labour," Shinji laughed at that. He could tell the woman was faking it. "But I have to go to school so I can work towards getting a real job. You know, so I don't have to beg like you do. Bye."

And so, Shinji turned away from the man with the very pregnant wife and continued his personal odyssey as a man with backbone. The man stared at him as Shinji left, disbelief painting his face white; he had always thought that kids weren't as nice as he was as a teenager, but this was ridiculous.

---

A few blocks behind, Asuka prowled the streets of Tokyo-3. People backed away in fear as she approached, making it quite easy for her to catch up to Shinji. Every now and then she would command random people to tell her if they'd seen an average-looking teenager with a stupid face, but none seemed willing to answer her. That just pissed her off.

Finally, she found two people that didn't run away when she got closer to them. In fact, one of them ran over to her.

"Oh, what a relief! After that first young man, I-"

"Young man?" rudely interrupted Asuka. Jackpot. "Was it a stupid, idiotic, piss-brained teenager wearing a boring white shirt and black pants with short hair?! Did I mention how much I hate him, because I really hate him."

"Ah, yes, but more importantly, I need-"

But Asuka didn't let him finish. "Wunderbar. Now, tell me which way that bastard went!"

"That way," the man pointed, not caring what happened to the jerk, "but you must-"

"Thanks," not that Asuka looked grateful in the least, "auf Wiedersehen."

And off she went on her way.

The man stood still for a minute, accompanied only by his poor wife's moaning and groaning.

"What the hell is with these damn kids?!" he screamed, "Why can't they just give me a quarter?! My child’s first memory is going to be smashing headfirst into a sidewalk at this rate!"

"...Dear..." his wife grunted at him between fierce contractions. It was enough to steel the man’s resolve.

“That’s it! I’m going to carry you to that hospital myself!” he pronounced, “Our baby’s going to be born the normal way and we’re going to raise him or her to be better than those damn teens that wouldn’t help us!”

“...Dear...”

He wasn’t sure if his wife had tears in her eyes because she was proud of him or if it was due to the baby kicking in her womb, but they were there. That’s all that mattered to this poor husband, and he had to do something about them.

And the man lived up to his bold words and carried his wife to the hospital, which was only two blocks away.

---

Back to Shinji, he had managed to make it to school without running into Asuka. It should be noted that he was not avoiding the Red Devil and was anxious to confront her with his new spine. Moreover, Shinji had plans of posting some new rules for her and Misato on the fridge when he got home. But he was in class now and had to show off his cool vertebrae to his fellow students.

Currently, he was somewhat disappointed nobody noticed him strutting through the halls. It was like the student body only cared about themselves and not others. How self-centered of them, he had thought. Even his friends, Touji and Kensuke, just gave him odd looks after he demonstrated his new and superior posture when sitting.

How could he prove he had vertebrae worth bragging about now so he could brag about it?

Then, the answer came to him in the form of an email moments before first period. A positively naught electronic message from Kensuke of the sort he usually deleted without opening. Oh yes, doing this will show them how much of a man I am now. Snickering, Shinji clicked on the email in his inbox and welcomed himself to the lewd world of pornography.

Let’s just say Shinji wasn’t entirely prepared for it yet.

After accepting the link, it did not take long for his eyes to widen. Oh my god...Breasts, boobs, hooters, nipples, titties, melons, butts, asses and all the curves a man could ever want to see, Shinji could see them right now and then some. Whoa! What’s that guy doing behind her?! A particularly obscene image burned its way into his mind and his brain worked quickly to process it. Oh...Ohh, now I get it. He didn't, really. Wait, whoa! Shit, is that girl...?! Ugh, that’s gross! A...a dog?!

Unbeknownst to Shinji, Kensuke and Touji were laughing their asses off at his expense. They kept on sending him these emails in hope that he’d be dumb enough to look at them in class, and he finally did it. To top it off, they received an even better treat when they realized this had to be the first time Shinji had looked at this kind of stuff.

And they had sent Shinji the nastiest, crustiest, foulest, most revolting pictures they could find. Gangbangs, scatology, bestiality, and worse was currently on display on his monitor. It’s no surprise that Shinji felt a nauseous pressure climbing up his esophagus. No, I must’nt run away, he reminded himself after a particularly waxy and violent image forced his squeamish eyes shut. I must become a man and look.

However, it did not take long for Shinji’s new adventure to come to an abrupt halt. Between his frequent gagging and Touji’s loud guffaws, somebody was bound to notice something strange. Specifically, the class representative, Hikari Horaki, came over to investigate.

What she saw when she arrived before Shinji’s desk was a sweating, shivering, shaking shell of a boy fixated on his screen. In the background Touji and Kensuke’s ribs ruptured when they noticed he was about to get busted, but Hikari shut them up with a glare. Then, she turned her head around to see what was on Shinji’s monitor.

A nude woman bent over and about to be...

“Oh my god!” she shrieked, “Ikari, w-what...what on Earth are you...you pervert!”

The pervert in question jolted backwards in his seat, smashing his back into the front of the desk behind him. A snapping sound was heard, or would have been if Shinji wasn’t so busy defending himself.

“N-no! It’s not what it looks like!” he protested, though it was exactly what it looked like.

“You’re lucky you’re my friend, or I’d report you!” she threatened. Hikari was actually more upset than she should be, since she had always believed Shinji was pure and it hurt to have your beliefs dashed. “Oh, wait until Asuka hears about this!”

Asuka.

The very name sent fear down his spine before Shinji could remind himself she should fear him and his new spine. Right, she has no advantage over me, now.

“Hears about what?”

Speak of the devil and there he...err, she is.

“Uh, nothing, Asuka,” quickly sidestepped Hikari. Though she had told Shinji she’d tattle on him to Asuka, the girl had not really meant it; Hikari didn’t want Shinji to get seriously hurt.

Regardless of Hikari’s intentions, the redhead was steamed. She still hadn’t cooled down from the morning and it entertained Shinji very much to see Asuka so.

Ha! he giggled. She must be upset because I didn’t make her lunch. If his arms had been long enough, Shinji would have petted his spinal brace like a pet. Oh, this is great!

“Quick, close those windows before she gets here!” Hikari hissed in the boy‘s ear, who appeared to her to have gone insane.

Oh. And he did so in the nick of time before. Not that doing so changed the fact that Asuka was going to deck him one, because seeing Hikari whispering in his ear infuriated her.

But, the homeroom teacher chose this moment to step into the classroom, effectively halting all the chaos.

For now.

---

Pen Pen felt a little tipsy, as he often did after having a few with Misato. Alas, he needed more beer but his drinking partner abruptly stood up and was now doing something strange after having way more to drink than he did.

Just what is she doing? the warm water penguin would have thought if he could think in a human language, which he definitely could not.

Misato started drinking right after Asuka went out the door and she hadn’t slowed down in the two or three hours since then. Frequently, she would cry out her anger at the world for taking Shinji from her, and she couldn’t figure out how to save the boy until Pen Pen warked at her in fear.

"Come on, pick up a'righty!" slurred Misato into the telephone.

It should be pointed out that Misato had tried dialling several phone numbers prior to this, but only managed to get it right this time.

“Da’ Shin-chan needs help! Picket up!”

The phone on the other end rang once more, and was, uh, finally picked up after three rings.

“Hello!” a cheerful young woman greeted from the other line. Had to have been a blonde. “Thank you for calling ‘Stop Them Kids From Killing Themselves Help Line!’ How can I help you not kill yourself today? Tee hee!”

“Great! I nee’s help now!”

“Of course! That’s why you called, hee hee! Now, how can I help?”

“You’s gotta shave Shin-shan!”

“I certainly will! Is Shinshan your name, Miss?”

“No! Shi-chan’s duh one withs da problem!”

“Oh, so is that what you call your drinking problem, Miss? It’s okay to give it a name, though this is the first time I’ve heard someone do that, personally...tee hee!”

“Lissen, bitch!” Misato didn’t like this whore ignoring her Shinji and invading her personal life, “I ain’t gots noes drinkin’ probabil-problem...is!”

“Now, Miss!” the charitable woman on the other end suddenly became stern. Well, as stern as an annoyingly cheerful woman like her could get. “The first step to getting over your drinking problem is admitting you have a problem! So, please do that before you guzzle yourself to a horribly painful and disgustingly messy death that will ruin your family‘s day! Hee hee!”

“No, rally! Shanchin’s a boy and he’s been hurting himself alot, an’ I thank he’s gonna hur’ hiself sammore!”

“Oh my! You must be really hammered if you’re calling yourself a boy now, hee hee! But you’re still not admitting that you-have-a-drinking-problem! Now, I want you to shout it loud and clear for all the neighbours to hear!”

“But Sanji-”

“No buts, Miss! I’m not going to let you hurt yourself one minute longer! We’re getting you over your problem and saving your life today! I’m not going to lose another one to the bottle!”

“...Uh, I h-ha...This is...hard...”

“No, you’re doing great! Come on, I know you can do it!”

“...I-I have a...d-d-d...”

“You’re almost there, you can do it!” the woman encouraged Misato.

“I h-has a d-drinking p-p-p-”

“Yes? Yes?”

“I have a d-drinkin’ p-problem an’ I’m drunka den a skunk righ’ now!” Misato finally admitted it in a rush and burst into tears.

“Aww, was that really so tough?” sweetly asked the woman as if she was talking to a baby, “Don’t you feel better now?”

“...Yeah,” sobbed Misato a bit guiltily, “I’m such a terribidible p-person for not s-s-saying s-so s-s-sooner!”

“There, there,” comforted the woman, “you’re not a terrible person at all! You just made some terrible mistakes. Now, tell me all about your problems. I’m a good listener and I won’t judge you. Hee hee, you definitely won’t want to kill yourself after talking to me! I’m the best!”

“O-okay,” Misato was beginning to love this understanding woman for being so...so understanding. She wiped her tears away and thought back to the very beginning. “Uh, f-first I...”

---

To Be Continued

---

Okay. You aren't supposed to stop reading here, but I had to split this story in two so I could post it here. Try to contain your excitement as I take a minute to post the second half.